| The Last Fear
"I ain't afraid of nothin'!" I've hear it said by tough guys from Pittsburgh to L.A. Tough guys clinging to outdated notions of masculinity, afraid of nothing except of being thought of as feminine in any way. What this last fear does to men and what it drives us to do to ourselves, each other, our friends, families, and the world at large is an immense tragedy. The fear of the feminine drives men to limit how we express ourselves. It limits our ability to feel and express our emotions. It prevents us from having close relationships with others. It often drives us into needlessly risky behavior to "prove our manhood." It can drive us to violence towards others in order to prove our toughness or to punish someone else for being "weak." The same fear can even lead to violence towards ourselves when we can't live up (or actually down) to the rigid standards we define as masculine. If you were born a man then anything you do is an expression of your own individual manliness. You're already a man and there's nothing you need to prove. Maybe your way doesn't fit the masculine stereotype. So what. Be yourself. What are you, chicken? |